Today, while organizing my shelves I opened up my 1989-1990 planners. As I started to read I was overcome by the tremendous weight that I carried those months. The more I read, the more overwhelmed I became. I remember each event, but somehow I had blocked out the fact that so much happened at once.
It upset me so much that I wept.
Just a few of the activities I was involved in at the time:
- Secretary in the Stake Relief Society Presidency
- PTA Board Member & Classroom Volunteer
- 4-H Leader
- Mother to five children, ages 2-12
- Transportation for my mother who didn't drive & my brother, Kim, who had M.S.
- Board Member of Utah Calligraphic Artists
My calendar was so packed that there was seldom a day that wasn't full.
This is just a sampling of a few of the BIG events that I recorded:
January
- Mars (age 8) called home from school 4 consecutive days with headaches & blurred vision. X-rays for sinus problems were negative. He had fixed pupils & elevated blood pressure in his neck. After an adjustment from the chiropractor his pupils were reactive, vision cleared, temperature dropped & headache pain decreased.
- Sheryl (age 11) - ill with a sore throat, swollen glands, headache & stiff neck.
- I thought I was going crazy. Everything overwhelmed me. Dealing with the kids was too much. I cried over everything, couldn't think clearly, nothing lifted my spirits. I wanted to die.
- I was taken to the Emergency Room with extreme abdominal pain & cramping, hot flashes, chills & hyperventilating. No cause was found.
February
- Mars - ill again for 3 more days.
- Marisa (age 5) - bladder infections.
- Aunt Betty passed away.
- Grandma Michaelis broke her hip.
- I went to court over an undeserved parking ticket.
- I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression & started anti-depressants.
March
- Basement flooded.
- Marisa - diagnosed with Acute Pyelonephritis (kidney infection).
April
- Constant Dr. visits ... Me - psychiatrist & gynecologist, Spencer - orthopedist, Marisa - urologist, and Kevin - allergist.
- Sheryl & Mars both out of school 4 days with illness.
- Kevin (age 2) - Southwest Emergency for stitches in chin.
May
- Marisa - Surgical procedure at Holy Cross Hospital for Urethral Stenosis. Had a Cystoscopy & Urethral Dilation.
- Kevin - stitches removed
- Sheryl - caught finger in back door & cut middle finger on left hand. Blood drained from under nail.
June
- Clive - Upper G.I. at Jordan Valley Holy Cross Hospital.
- More Dr. visits ... Kevin - allergist, Kids - dentist, Marisa - urologist, Me - chiropractor, Clive - internist, Mom - surgeon & labs.
- Mom - Thumb joint replacement surgery.
July
- Dr. visits ... Clive - internist, Kids - dentist, Me - psychiatrist
- Clive & Boys - Backpacking
- Me, Girls & Kevin - Trip to Vernal
August
- Mom - 2nd Thumb joint replacement surgery.
- County Fair - In charge of 4-H Jr. Style Review
- More Dr. appts.
- Dryer and car battery both went out ... but miraculously revived!
September
- Mom & Kim to doctor appointments
- Sheryl - Always ill. Tired, achey, sore throat, etc. Missed 2 weeks of school. Dr. Aizad couldn't find anything. Believes it is not physical. Referral to mental health doctor.
October
- Sheryl - Visited several doctors. What a joke. One wanted to hospitalize her and another believed she was faking. Finally took her to my psychiatrist. Diagnosed with School phobia. Put on Home & Hospital. Attended school sporadically.
November
- Clive, Sheryl & Me - Performed in Stake Musical, Within These Walls
- Only 4 doctor appointments!
December
- Kevin - pneumonia & slight ear infection
- Grandpa Michaelis died of Congenital Heart Failure
January
- The Calm Before the Storm
February
- Micoplasma Pneumonia hit the family. Mars was hospitalized for 5 days with it in both lungs. Sheryl was put on a Home IV to keep her out of the hospital. She was so weak and down to 68 pounds. Kevin had a relapse in both lungs from his illness in December. I had borderline pneumonia. Highly contagious. No one could help us.
March
- Marisa - Chicken pox
- Clive - Pneumonia
- Kevin - Chicken pox. So bad that he was nearly hospitalized. They were internal & caused his throat to swell. He couldn't swallow. Developed a fever & had yet another relapse of pneumonia.
It is hard to believe, but during our 15 month nightmare, Spencer stayed healthy. All I had to worry about with him was taking care of his flat feet and keep him in his specialized shoes.
It is a wonder that I survived at all.
But I do know that it was only possible because of
faith & prayers.
I leaned on the Savior and He held me up,
carrying me much of the way
until I could again stand on my own
... but I will never try to rely on my own strength.
That is why He suffered in Gethsemane.
And I'm full of thanks.
